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| Student: John Rhys Garcia - Original Piece |
Hello and welcome to the first Art Jam portfolio critique! First
I would like to start out with saying that here at Art Jam we're all about
constructive criticism. While we may be critiquing your illustration everything
will be constructive optimistic feedback and how to make it portfolio ready.
Please refrain from making any negative comments that are more to just deter
instead of grow. With that being said, let's “dive” into our selection this
month which is an image by John-Rhys Garcia.
Composition
Here we have the
submitted piece. I would like to take just a second to talk about the overall
composition. The first thing that I noticed is that the piece does not delineate
its focal point. I believe John was trying to make the main character doing
a leap of faith to be said focal point, however because of how things are arranged
it can be difficult to spot. Too many objects
deter such as the cloud formation and the very busy tower. The second thing I'm noticing is that perspective is a little wonky in terms of him leaping towards us.
The actual tower and the two pursuing crusaders look truthful
besides little nitpicking things; Our main character is not so lucky, almost appearing to be on a different perspective plane. I think the misperception occurred with the plank from
which he soared.
Based on the trajectory, the position of our camera and the perspective the
character appears to be in two point perspective, while the rest of the image
is in the three-point perspective. At this point it appears almost as if he's on a
completely separate perspective plane.
Secondly I think if the
character was tucked in a little bit more closer to the tower as well as may be
cropping the image, removing some unneeded negative space, it can give a more
dynamic feel.
So I've shown you where
to crop the image itself while maintaining the same ratio and help follow the
rules of divine proportion.
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| Cropped Image |
Our character is pushed out
of the clouds and there's not as much empty space, we get a quicker impression
of what is our pivotal theme. While our character is clearer, this creates some other problems such as
the bow ready crusader no longer aiming at our hero. This can be adjusted or
redrawn later. For this critique I want to focus on our focal point and composition.
If we inspect the image from our present state, quite a few things still need attention. The Value Range is fairly shallow and certain
perspective elements of the foreshortened arms are awkward.
Value Range
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| Original Values |
One thing that will help
push the illustration is a stout light source constructing a wide range of
tones; unfortunately it appears our original piece is at about 40 to 50% gray. Your
image does not have to be half black and half pure white, but a balance will
help the viewer’s eye read your image quicker.
While it is not essential
to have your light source directly in the image, an understanding of forms and
of how light functions with them is key to success. With that understanding we
can push our values for a more effective and convincing illustration.
After observing your picture, it appears that the light source is the sun
and everything is side or back lite. I added some pure black just to give an
idea of how to drive your tones.
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Cropped
Image with Solid Blacks
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One thing that I cannot stress enough is
do not be afraid to push your darks in lieu of details. If something's
completely in shadow or backlit the details will be washed out in tones and
form. At that point the particulars will not be distinguishable and it's more
about nailing the shadows to build your form.
Arm Perspective
Now the perspective on the hand and arm
seems to be a combination of the skewed perspective and shoulder misplacement.
The upper arm (Bicep/Triceps) is too short, not accounting for the armpit and
the shoulder. This, by extension, is making the forearm appear too long. By
trying to make the arm follow the traditional straight line approach to
perspective, it appears to be dislocated and bending the wrong direction at the
elbow. Below you will see a breakdown of the arm in the perspective provided.
Note the bend at the elbow. Even in a dramatic pose with extended limbs, or hyper extended, it’s
important to remember a key point for arms and legs, your upper arm and lower
arm are generally the same length. The same goes for your shin and upper leg.
With the perspective provided, the arm would not go back into space; instead it
would be "back" from the character, but coming towards the camera.
This would allow us to see the armpit, the upper arm and the forearm in all
equal parts.
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| Adjusted Arm Perspective |
That will conclude the large sections of the critique and there
are many other things you can do to always make any illustration better. For
example you could always push your form with the guards or cut back on some of
the lines of a tower. Instead of drawing every brick you can give an idea of
the wall but again these are all stylistic choices. If you want to show every
single brick, go for it. Just be sure to always think about your focal points,
form and what it’s your end goal on the piece.
Please feel free to comment if you have any questions about anything
I was saying or if you would like me to go more in-depth. I hope you've enjoyed
this quick critique and hopefully this is the first of many monthly portfolio
themes.
